Okay, you're here, so listen up, all you primitive screwheads. I've got a little game for you. How many of Bruce Campbell's films/tv appearances/credits of whatever can you remember off the top of your head? Feel free to look it up, but please have some pride. No posts if you imdb or google whack him. If you look it up, you're done. Thank you, and remember.....shop smart, shop s-mart.

I swear he is. That chalky skin, limp hair, glazed hate filled expression. Active soldier of the Army of Darkness. No doubt. That's gotta be why he opposes violence in video games. So we will all become passive, love filled, zombie food. (I swear they're behind the liberal agenda.) Which brings me to my real article. Evil Dead, Regeneration. Just got done beating it. Wonderful, wonderful game. Violent, gory, blood soaked, yet decidedly not tasteful. My only real complaint was that it was t...

I swear he is. That chalky skin, limp hair, glazed hate filled expression. Active soldier of the Army of Darkness. No doubt. That's gotta be why he opposes violence in video games. So we will all become passive, love filled, zombie food. (I swear they're behind the liberal agenda.) Which brings me to my real article. Evil Dead, Regeneration. Just got done beating it. Wonderful, wonderful game. Violent, gory, blood soaked, yet decidedly not tasteful. My only real complaint was that it was t...

Oct. 17- Clearwater, Flordia Anonymous Daily Herald. Today the widely successful food chain Hooters announced the opening of a new line of resteraunt chain, called Cocks. This exciting new lineup will be very similar to their already populars Hooters stores, first established in Clearwater, Florida in 1983, with finger foods, a beach theme, and no more cloth than absolutely necessary. However in an exciting new twist, instead of the scantily clad, big breasted women you've grown to be...

Oct. 17- Clearwater, Flordia Anonymous Daily Herald. Today the widely successful food chain Hooters announced the opening of a new line of resteraunt chain, called Cocks. This exciting new lineup will be very similar to their already populars Hooters stores, first established in Clearwater, Florida in 1983, with finger foods, a beach theme, and no more cloth than absolutely necessary. However in an exciting new twist, instead of the scantily clad, big breasted women you've grown to be...

Well, you've done it again, Abbot.........we're swimming in feces now. My wife was doing laundry and going to the bathroom, (that's right, simultaneously, why not?) and the main drain just backed up to my house. And apparently there's been some good eating here this weekend. ewwwwwwwwwwww. Fortunately, the bathroom floors are just covered in grey water. If you don't know what grey water is, well, I won't enlighten you, but use your imagination. However the toilets filled up, then went down...

I do not regret your 3 a.m mews, Or ungodly races across my bed, Those geckos on windows are indeed news, But please don't take shortcuts crossing my head. I do not begrude you your stolen treats, Though daily you thieve from my pizza box, And play bulimic with olives and meats, But it grieves me, that puke on my clean socks. I do not mind that you share all your fur, With generous joy and abandonment, Or clamp to my neck with vampiric purr, Using your talons as a quick cement....

I do not regret your 3 a.m mews, Or ungodly races across my bed, Those geckos on windows are indeed news, But please don't take shortcuts crossing my head. I do not begrude you your stolen treats, Though daily you thieve from my pizza box, And play bulimic with olives and meats, But it grieves me, that puke on my clean socks. I do not mind that you share all your fur, With generous joy and abandonment, Or clamp to my neck with vampiric purr, Using your talons as a quick cement....

Today I found a new poet I like. No, scratch that, I found a new poet I adore, I worship, I fall down at her feet in adoration. If poetry was sex, this lady would be my Aphrodite. Which is to say, I really like what I've read so far. Her name is Wendy Cope, and here's a couple of her poems. Some people like sex more than others - You seem to like it a lot. There's nothing wrong with being innocent or high minded. But I'm glad you're not. Here's another. The Uncertainty of the Po...

Today I found a new poet I like. No, scratch that, I found a new poet I adore, I worship, I fall down at her feet in adoration. If poetry was sex, this lady would be my Aphrodite. Which is to say, I really like what I've read so far. Her name is Wendy Cope, and here's a couple of her poems. Some people like sex more than others - You seem to like it a lot. There's nothing wrong with being innocent or high minded. But I'm glad you're not. Here's another. The Uncertainty of the Po...

So what does it for you? Ghouls? Hobgoblins? Vampires? Moth-eaten werewolves with fangs? I've been thinking, every halloween, somehow I'm the one that ends up passing out candy, so I end up stuck in front of the TV watching some old scary movie, and stopping to answer the door every five minutes. But then I was struck with a thought. Aha!!!! What if I invited a bunch of people over in costume, and moved a couch, a bunch of chairs and a big TV outside, and had an all night outdoors fright n...

Hi ho, Kermit the frog here, with our very special guest star, me!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! To begin with, if you've got manic-depressive tendencies, (I'm not a real bi-polar bear by anymeans, but I do have my ups and downs.) on the days you're manic, take advantage of it! I've got dozens of uncertified uber-mad skills, impressive, but garuanteed to keep me poor if I do them for a living. So today, I woke up hyper, and I'm going to town. I fixed up my registration for my teaching area of expertise...

Hi ho, Kermit the frog here, with our very special guest star, me!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! To begin with, if you've got manic-depressive tendencies, (I'm not a real bi-polar bear by anymeans, but I do have my ups and downs.) on the days you're manic, take advantage of it! I've got dozens of uncertified uber-mad skills, impressive, but garuanteed to keep me poor if I do them for a living. So today, I woke up hyper, and I'm going to town. I fixed up my registration for my teaching area of expertise...