I have a badass 19 and 73 beautifully red five liter Ford Mustang Coupe..........on jackstands. Sigh. Several years ago, whilst (and at the same time even,) stationed in Monterey at the army's language school, I finally convinced my wife that we needed a second car. MUHAHAHA.......little did she know, I was fulfilling my dream of owning a classic muscle car. But we worked it out, and I was able to purchase this Link for about $1800. It's old, but I love it. Since I've picked it up, I'...

So here we are at last, the final showdown. I'm ready, they're ready. It's just me and about 1500-2500(actual population of them in the valley) of the meanest mule deer to ever walk the streets of Copperas Cove, about to go face to face, toe to mmmm....well in a showdown anyways...My flamethrowers loaded, and so am I. I grab my tinfoil beanie and reach for the front door knob, when......OH NO!!!! multiple ending syndrome!!!! The Appocalypse ending: I am caught up to heaven with the ange...

157.2, Hours left in the army now, I bought Kung-Fu Hustle which is six syllables and puts me over...........damn.

And before you ask, why humor? Because I'm gonna look freakin' silly if I burn off all my facial hair, that's why. As promised pictures from the new propane burner I finished building this afternoon. My new furnace isn't quite done yet, and my wife dragged me off to a friend's house before I could try a melt, but I did get to try it out in my old furnace, and it was even sweeter than I dreamed it would be. P.S. Tell me if the photos don't come off, I'm trying a new hosting site, I got sic...

I finally did it. That's right, 17 lbs of sweet liquid propane, all mine. Boredom has finally driven me to finishing a LP burner for my metalcasting furnace.......heh heh heh heh...........fire....fire. I'm about to go finish drilling the holes and try it out. I had built a charcoal furnace, but I had a little trouble with using it to melt bronze, partly 'cause I hadn't made a proper lid for it, and partly 'cause every time it got ready to melt, the charcoal ran out, and it cooled off when...

Here's one of my favorite parts of being a soldier. You're out somewhere....in a store, at the movie theater, visiting relatives, what have you, when someone finds out you're in the Army, and asks the Question. "So, like where were you in Iraq?" "I didn't go to Iraq." "Oh.......(three seconds of dead silence.....always three.) Afghanistan then?" "Nope" "You about to deploy?" "Nope. Everybody but me in my unit went, and I called in sick and or hid behind a dumpster while everyone else...

Woot, 14 days, 4.5 hours left in the Army. Outprocessed CIF (central issue facility) today. For all non-army folks who will undoubtedly be bored to tears by this, I turned in all the thousands of dollars of beat-up crap the Army entrusted to my care. In one go. This is not the norm. I rule. I showed up at 4 in the morning, and was the first one in line at the gate. Not the first to arrive by a long shot, but the silly bastards didn't want to stand in the rain with all their stuff for some ...

No, really. Has it been 68 days since I posted? Yeeesh. 16 days and a wakeup and I'm free, FREE, FREEEE!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! In the meantime, I'm hoping tomorrow we'll have a run day for P.T. Yeah. right. Got orders and clearing papers today, and cleared almost everything on post in about two hours. Tonight and tomorrow, Medal of Honor, and cleaning TA-50 (army issue gear) for turn-in. It's amazing how much killing virtual Nazis will help you deal with that. Patton got ...

Day 93. 1. Spent the day doing dark deeds, in a dark place, under a dark mood........muhahahahahaha!!!!! 2. A man blinded me with science, but I dodged like poetry in motion. 3. Went swimming, I will do an Ironman! (and then I'm gonna play the ozzie song ALL. THE. TIME.) who rules, baby? 4. Sat around singing the spongemonkey moon song. (If you haven't yet, check it out here......... Link very very funny.......in fact check out they're whole site, pretty good stuff.) Link Hmmm...

Day 94. I skipped a little. Last week major lag online, 94 days left.

Day 99. 1. Began massive distraction from the needs of facing reality today, by beginning an online game, Kingdom of Loathing. Stick figure characters, no rules given, just jump right in. Link 2. Very weird, but funny. Oh yeah, and the currency seems to be meat. 3. Someday I will facedown the Naughty Sorceress. (probably about when I figure out all the rules.) An adventurer is me!

So......big Day 100. Here's a day at work. 1. Honed my body, making myself a more effecient killing machine. 2. Performed a mission essential task as a well trained, intelligence professional, thereby making the world in general, and Iraq in particular a safer place to be. 3. Used said well honed, and professionally trained body to clean urinals and sweep floors...........(most enjoyable part of my day, and probably the bit that makes a greatest difference in the world, Woot!)

1. Got my onpost driving privileges back......Hooray!!!! 2. Interviewed for the leper position today. The man said he just didn't feel that I was ready, but asked me not to be sore ...... However, he did drop a few things off later, and gave me a few tips............ He was dying for me to come back and get the job....... 3. Interviewed with the government of France re. starting another Crusade. They said that in fact they weren't interested at this time, as there was already one ...

Day 102. 1. Watched Kingdom of Heaven. 2. Considered enlisting in the Crusades to retake Jerusalem under King Richard after ETSing from the army. Was disappointed to discover that Orlando Bloom would not be participating, and that the Crusade in question, had in fact been over for the last 800 years or so. Additionally, this may cause a conflict of intrest during my IRR time, and I would have to work for the French. C'est dommage. 3. Filed a resume for a position as a leper instead. ...

Day 103 until my great escape. (started this yesterday, this series will of course continue for another 102.........) 1. Called my mother and stepmother for Mother's Day. 2. Listened to my stepmother rant on for twenty minutes about how wonderful the Army is for me, why I should reenlist, the great benefits and health care we recieve, what on earth could you do for a living when you get out? (After all, I only speak three languages, have a degree, a clearance, and prior government ...