Spc Nobody Special's Articles In Humor
June 15, 2009 by Spc Nobody Special
So, here's a weird bit. My kid's almost three months now, and a little fussy (he's got four teeth coming in). So guess what puts him out.

Mozart? Brahms lullaby? Paris Hilton's career? Nah-ah. This one's metal. I don't know if I listened to too much while he was in the womb, or what, but when I can't get Justin to calm down any other way, I pop in some Flogging Molly or Dropkick Murphies and he's out like a light. Til the end of the album anyways.

He does okay with classic metal, ...
June 15, 2009 by Spc Nobody Special
So, here's a weird bit. My kid's almost three months now, and a little fussy (he's got four teeth coming in). So guess what puts him out.

Mozart? Brahms lullaby? Paris Hilton's career? Nah-ah. This one's metal. I don't know if I listened to too much while he was in the womb, or what, but when I can't get Justin to calm down any other way, I pop in some Flogging Molly or Dropkick Murphies and he's out like a light. Til the end of the album anyways.

He does okay with classic metal, ...
May 23, 2009 by Spc Nobody Special
And on that note....Why not open with a joke, after all, it's been awhile...

This guy goes to see his doc for his over forty physical. He does all the usual tests, bloodwork, bends over, turns his head and coughs etc, and his doctor tells him to come back in two weeks. Two weeks go by and when he comes in, his doc tells him "I've got good news, and bad news." The guy looks at him and says, Well, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, your cock's about to get two inches longer and one in...
May 23, 2009 by Spc Nobody Special
And on that note....Why not open with a joke, after all, it's been awhile...

This guy goes to see his doc for his over forty physical. He does all the usual tests, bloodwork, bends over, turns his head and coughs etc, and his doctor tells him to come back in two weeks. Two weeks go by and when he comes in, his doc tells him "I've got good news, and bad news." The guy looks at him and says, Well, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, your cock's about to get two inches longer and one in...
October 9, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Ha!!! I know, it should be a Friday Five, but I work for the government (we're here to help...) and I get a four day. w00t.

This week it's favorite bumper stickers,

I laughed on the way home from one that read "Obey Gravity. It''s the law."

Another favorite from the nineties was Pray for Clinton, Psalm 109:8." (May his days be short and another man take his office, to save you the trouble of looking it up.)

This really isn't five. hmm. Well, feel free to put up five, or judge among t...
October 9, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Ha!!! I know, it should be a Friday Five, but I work for the government (we're here to help...) and I get a four day. w00t.

This week it's favorite bumper stickers,

I laughed on the way home from one that read "Obey Gravity. It''s the law."

Another favorite from the nineties was Pray for Clinton, Psalm 109:8." (May his days be short and another man take his office, to save you the trouble of looking it up.)

This really isn't five. hmm. Well, feel free to put up five, or judge among t...
September 24, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Short and easy one before beddie bye...

Did you know the Catholic Church once issued a bull declaring the hippopotamus a fish?

Good call guys, right up there with the whole martyrdom of Galileo bit. Apparently, the Portugese colonies in Africa, (a steady stream of income for the Vatican, despite their failure to bribe the Borgia popish wonder properly, which meant they only got Brazil in the split of the New World. Really, I always picture a Who's on First dialogue in that f...
September 24, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Short and easy one before beddie bye...

Did you know the Catholic Church once issued a bull declaring the hippopotamus a fish?

Good call guys, right up there with the whole martyrdom of Galileo bit. Apparently, the Portugese colonies in Africa, (a steady stream of income for the Vatican, despite their failure to bribe the Borgia popish wonder properly, which meant they only got Brazil in the split of the New World. Really, I always picture a Who's on First dialogue in that f...
September 18, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Just imagine, if McCain dies in office, we'd make massive strides. Not only the first woman, but the first hot president!



I can just see her new cabinet now.....

 

Sec of State



 

 Sec of the interior



Sec. of erm....what were we talking about?



 

Sec. of Castro Street, San Fran.



Well, you get the idea........

 
September 18, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Just imagine, if McCain dies in office, we'd make massive strides. Not only the first woman, but the first hot president!



I can just see her new cabinet now.....

 

Sec of State



 

 Sec of the interior



Sec. of erm....what were we talking about?



 

Sec. of Castro Street, San Fran.



Well, you get the idea........

 
September 2, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
For those of you who have not noticed, the world is a strange place, and many of the true tales are weirder than any movie. So, since I'm a geek, and a slight history buff, I'm pleased to introduce the first episode of Candy from strangers.

Wierd little bits and pieces I've picked up here and there that are cool enough to read in a short blip, but boring and annoying in a real life story. And most importantly, since I read a lot, visit museums, etc, but don't have the patience to chronicle ea...
September 2, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
For those of you who have not noticed, the world is a strange place, and many of the true tales are weirder than any movie. So, since I'm a geek, and a slight history buff, I'm pleased to introduce the first episode of Candy from strangers.

Wierd little bits and pieces I've picked up here and there that are cool enough to read in a short blip, but boring and annoying in a real life story. And most importantly, since I read a lot, visit museums, etc, but don't have the patience to chronicle ea...
August 22, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
1. They refer to Noah as that asshole commuter with the really big gopherwood SUV.

2. You can't tell the street people from the business people.

3. A storm destroys a building with five businesses, and every one of them is a coffeehouse.

4. You get off early at three...and get stuck in heavy rush hour traffic.

5. If you put a big rock on top of it, it's art. Trust me on this one. Large cubes of blue glass also work.

6. You can be poor making fifteen dollars an hour.

7...
August 22, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
1. They refer to Noah as that asshole commuter with the really big gopherwood SUV.

2. You can't tell the street people from the business people.

3. A storm destroys a building with five businesses, and every one of them is a coffeehouse.

4. You get off early at three...and get stuck in heavy rush hour traffic.

5. If you put a big rock on top of it, it's art. Trust me on this one. Large cubes of blue glass also work.

6. You can be poor making fifteen dollars an hour.

7...
August 21, 2008 by Spc Nobody Special
Since my blog has been dying the death of a thousand days of not writing shit, I thought I'd touch base and let ya'll know what the latest project is. Oh yeah, and it's from Macbeth dammit. Jeez, nobody reads the frickin' classics anymore. Sigh......

So, it's not metal. Yet. (although I finally got a stick welder!!!!!) The latest deal is an illusion scarf. What's an illusion scarf? The idea is you've got what appears to be a normal scarf until you lift it at a slight angle, and WOW, SHIT...