If the army wanted you to have two feet, they'd issue them to you, right?
Published on September 30, 2004 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
I've finally had enough. I'm breaking one of my cardinal rules for the army, and for the second time in over 5 years, I'm going to sick call tommorow. I toughed it out for 3 days now, but I'm thinking maybe plantar fascitis, maybe stress fracture. I'm thinking about fetching a hacksaw every time I wear my combat boots for more than a couple of hours.

This unit is pretty good about getting sick or injured, so I don't have to face the usual stigma against getting sick in the army. Most places I've been to instantly label you as a sick call ranger/shammer, and you go straight onto the shit list, especially if you can't do p.t. for a while. But although I'm glad I don't have to face this, this is nothing on my fear of being treated by army medicine.

I don't fear doctors. Just army doctors. I've seen people almost killed and malpractice that would permenantly dissolve the practice of any civilian doctor you've ever seen. But oh, wait, you don't have to worry about being sued for malpractice in the army, you don't even have to be licensed anymore!

There are many, many good doctors and nurses in the military. The problem is, you never know what you're going to get, only much more so than in the civilian world. It's like playing Russian roulette with a couple of extra bullets in the gun. And some of the horror stories I've seen/heard would curdle the hairs on a high n' tight.

Outside of the joys of immunizations, I've had five personal experiences with army medicine and myself as a patient. Once I went voluntarily, and the other four, I only went because I was ordered to. The first was that bad. I won't draw it out, but it involved Motrin, no profile, and a conversation that included such winners as, "well if it hurts that badly, just try not to lift your arms for a few months" And he was right, my back stopped screaming after several months......of course then it went numb every time I raised my arms.......

So if I'm going to the doctor on post, you know it's bugging the hell out of me. But why do I keep thinking of my roomate in Korea, who started out with foot pain, had a screw from a previous injury removed, only to have it turn out to be a misdiagnosis of a degenerative nerve disease that may cause him to lose the foot?........sigh. Sometimes I think that free army health care is worth every penny you pay for it........

Comments (Page 1)
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on Sep 30, 2004
I feel you pain. When I had my wisdom teeth pulled, the guy cut my artery. Didn't even realize what he'd done. Nearly cauterized it to stop the bleeding. Good thing he didn't. He would have fried my lingual nerve and I'd have never felt that part of my face again.

Also, had a doc tell me that he'd never heard of someone having my kind of back pain for so long. He said I must not be doing enough pt. Turns out I had two herniated disks in my lower back. But he couldn't even be bothered to check out the x-rays that were already in the online database.
on Sep 30, 2004

Oh, the horror stories I have to tell you....of the time I had a gallstone and the military doc said there was nothing wrong with me - but I somehow ended up in emergency surgery 2 days later at the civilian hospital because my gallbladder almost ruptured. 

I think I'll stop there, because you still have to go in the morning and I don't want to scare you too much. 

Let us know how it goes!  Hope your feet feel better!

on Sep 30, 2004
A casual acquaintance of my wife's had intense migraines for over a year. Every time he went to sick call, they gave him the standard: motrin and RTD.
Turns out he had brain cancer, and by the time they caught it, he had 6 months left. Didn't even get to ETS, except permanent-like.
on Oct 01, 2004

Didn't even get to ETS, except permanent-like

Maybe I can get out of this chicken-shit outfit that way!

on Oct 01, 2004

A kid that Dave supervised went to sick call with his neck swollen one day.  They said it was nothing important, to go home....he went back 2 days later with his face swollen, and they sent him home again.  Dave told him to go back the following Monday because he wasn't any better, and this time they ran some tests...and admitted him to the CICU (Coronary ICU) downtown that afternoon.  He had cardiac cancer.  He spent 4 weeks at Wilford Hall, on experimental chemo and radiation treatments before it killed him.  He was 20.


Jake fell off his bike and hurt his arm.  I thought it was broken, so we went to the hospital.  the triage nurse said there was nothing wrong with it, that we should go on home and give him some motrin.  I said that seeing as we were there I'd prefer to have a physician tell me there was nothing wrong with it.  Jake had a torsion fracture of his radius and spent the next 6 weeks in a cast.  Yeah, there was nothing wrong with it, alright.....


Does the military have some kind of contract with the manufacturers of Motrin (or the generic producers)?  Because that's seemingly the drug of choice for any and every military practitioner I've ever come across.  I can't take motrin or any of that stuff anymore....they gave me so much of it to treat migraines over the years that it gave me a bleeding ulcer back in '97.  Now I can't have any NSAID's or asprin either.


So, NBS, what was wrong with your tootsies?

on Oct 01, 2004
He runs through the zombie deer too often and too far!
on Oct 01, 2004

He runs through the zombie deer too often and too far!


I knew those damn deer had something to do with it.  It's a conspiracy, I tell ya...they're fucking up his feet so he can't run anymore!

on Oct 01, 2004
The doc listened to the symptoms, and said it's probably a strain or plantar fascitis, and gave me a twenty day profile. I'm grateful for the willingness to listen, that so many of the army docs are missing, but I was hoping for something I didn't already know. (and maybe an x-ray, to make sure no stress fracture) He did say if it turns out to be fascitis, the marathon's pretty definititely out. Thhhppppttt.
on Oct 01, 2004

The doc listened to the symptoms, and said it's probably a strain or plantar fascitis,


Did he give you motrin?!  Hehehehe.....

on Oct 01, 2004
Did he give you motrin?!


Oddly enough, no. That alone almost made me need to be treated for shock.
on Oct 01, 2004
That was my guess earlier today as well dharma...
on Oct 01, 2004

That was my guess earlier today as well dharma...


Well, that's the standard care.


"Oh, your eye is gouged out?  Well, here's some motrin, take 2 twice a day for a week and it'll be better"


"You're giving birth and want some pain relief?  800 migs of Motrin will hook ya right up!"


"Ruptured spleen?  Yep, Motrin's your cure!"


 


 

on Oct 01, 2004
Motrin, it's a better panacea than Fred Harteis!
on Oct 01, 2004
Well, that's the standard care.


"Oh, your eye is gouged out? Well, here's some motrin, take 2 twice a day for a week and it'll be better"


"You're giving birth and want some pain relief? 800 migs of Motrin will hook ya right up!"


"Ruptured spleen? Yep, Motrin's your cure!"


When I ran cross country in high school, the coach would tell us to run in the grass for any pain we might feel.

Coach, my arm just fell off.

That's OK, just run in the grass.
on Oct 01, 2004
he he he . . . my husband always says, "Drink water. Drive on." He's so mean. He's doesn't even care.
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