If the army wanted you to have two feet, they'd issue them to you, right?
Published on September 30, 2004 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
I've finally had enough. I'm breaking one of my cardinal rules for the army, and for the second time in over 5 years, I'm going to sick call tommorow. I toughed it out for 3 days now, but I'm thinking maybe plantar fascitis, maybe stress fracture. I'm thinking about fetching a hacksaw every time I wear my combat boots for more than a couple of hours.

This unit is pretty good about getting sick or injured, so I don't have to face the usual stigma against getting sick in the army. Most places I've been to instantly label you as a sick call ranger/shammer, and you go straight onto the shit list, especially if you can't do p.t. for a while. But although I'm glad I don't have to face this, this is nothing on my fear of being treated by army medicine.

I don't fear doctors. Just army doctors. I've seen people almost killed and malpractice that would permenantly dissolve the practice of any civilian doctor you've ever seen. But oh, wait, you don't have to worry about being sued for malpractice in the army, you don't even have to be licensed anymore!

There are many, many good doctors and nurses in the military. The problem is, you never know what you're going to get, only much more so than in the civilian world. It's like playing Russian roulette with a couple of extra bullets in the gun. And some of the horror stories I've seen/heard would curdle the hairs on a high n' tight.

Outside of the joys of immunizations, I've had five personal experiences with army medicine and myself as a patient. Once I went voluntarily, and the other four, I only went because I was ordered to. The first was that bad. I won't draw it out, but it involved Motrin, no profile, and a conversation that included such winners as, "well if it hurts that badly, just try not to lift your arms for a few months" And he was right, my back stopped screaming after several months......of course then it went numb every time I raised my arms.......

So if I'm going to the doctor on post, you know it's bugging the hell out of me. But why do I keep thinking of my roomate in Korea, who started out with foot pain, had a screw from a previous injury removed, only to have it turn out to be a misdiagnosis of a degenerative nerve disease that may cause him to lose the foot?........sigh. Sometimes I think that free army health care is worth every penny you pay for it........

Comments (Page 2)
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on Oct 01, 2004
That was the standard in basic. "Drink water."

Drill SGT, I have a headache. "Drink water."

Drill SGT, I'm vomiting because we had to PT like that in the wood chip pit in 98 degree heat. "Drink water."

Drill SGT, my wife left me. "Drink water."
on Oct 01, 2004
my husband always says, "Drink water. Drive on." He's so mean. He's doesn't even care.


The other one I've heard a lot is "It'll be ok, just rub some dirt on it."
on Oct 02, 2004
Oh the hilariousness of the Army and the medical field in the Army.

Good Bad Times. Heh heh.

Though sometimes it is not all that funny.

- GX
2 Pages1 2