but it isn't all that powerful
Published on August 8, 2004 By Spc Nobody Special In Misc
It’s true, I have took the blue pill, and entered into a world of secret knowledge and power

It’s true, I have took the blue pill, and entered into a world of secret knowledge and power. Long, long ago, in a far away and strange but beautiful land, (Monterey, Ca), the army spent entirely too much money to put me through a Korean language class at DLI To this day, I have no idea why, as I have yet to use it outside of training, but I’m still grateful for two years in Monterey, tofu and all, and since then I’ve used my piss poor Korean skills as a sort of geeky superpower, here’s some of the fun.

 

Catching the kid at the grocery store, who thinks it’s funny to cuss the white guy when he can’t understand.

 

Sending said kid crying back to parents when you return the favor.

 

Always getting the best stuff from CIF (Central Issue Facility)  without resorting to bribery.

 

Translating at the request of family…..provided it’s not Japanese, Chinese or god knows what else….but Asia’s just one big country to them anyway, right?

 

Yes, they’re talking about you, nuff said.

 

My drycleaning always comes back perfect.

 

Startle the s*^& out of “Chinese” resteraunt waiters

 

Being able to travel in Korea without help….much….

 

Being able to go to a bar in Korea that doesn’t have 500 other GI’s in it.

 

Making lots of cool Korean friends all over the globe….they’re awesome people

 

Not my best, but Sheebool chok caht nay….(be careful who you get to translate this, someone young and not too prudish)

Nobody Special signing off……


Comments (Page 1)
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on Aug 08, 2004

I think that's f-ing cool!  I'd love to be able to startle the shit out of the Korean ladies that yard sale on Saturday mornings...actually, I'd really like to know what they're saying!

I can speak french (I'm the translator for Ellsworth)...but it doesn't do me much good in the US.

on Aug 08, 2004
I used to do the same with Spanish in So Cal. I love it when hispanic people look at all the whities and start speaking Spanish so no-one will know what they are saying. hehehehehe. Somehow I always resisted telling them, "Unos gringos hablamos español."

I wish I could speak as many languages as I can read or understand when spoken.
on Aug 08, 2004
Neat post. This super power would be of particular advantage when trying to explain how I want my kids' hair cut at the barbershop on the base!

Personally, I know pig latin. This would be an 80's style super power both rad and wicked awesome in nature. Ayway adray, on'tday ouyay inkthay?
on Aug 08, 2004
Awesome......now, all we need is a league of justice, and we can have our own cartoon called semi-super friends...
on Aug 08, 2004
I'm in. I can be InsanelyUncoordinated-Girl and I can confuse evil doers with my pig latin and then accidentally trip over them until they are beaten into submission. And I think I'll have a pink cape. Sound good?
on Aug 08, 2004
Right, and I'm Disgruntled GI Guy, I'll just force them to join my unit, where they'll be crushed by the low morale, and never able to escape.....Anyone else?
on Aug 08, 2004

I want to be 'stupor girl'.  I can distract people with my awful french, all the while gassing them slowly into a stupor with my odiferous garlic breath.  I'll wear a red beret and have a string of garlic bulbs hanging around my neck - ooh, and those can be my back-up weapon.  If the breath doesn't stupify them, a well aimed bulb of garlic will!!

on Aug 08, 2004
Would the garlic breath be snail-related?
on Aug 09, 2004
I'll be... er... pseudosoldier, actually. Kinda already outlined this in my first blog, but... You know how Captain America got the supersoldier serum? Mine wasn't as good. So, I'm kinda tough, and kinda strong, and I kinda have morals that Americans should emulate...
I, too, am handicapped by the intense pressure of negative morale.
on Aug 09, 2004
Someone in our gang has to wear underwear outside of their clothes and colored tights, but it's not going to be me . . .
on Aug 09, 2004
Catching the kid at the grocery store, who thinks it’s funny to cuss the white guy when he can’t understand. Sending said kid crying back to parents when you return the favor.


This one is always good.

Always getting the best stuff from CIF (Central Issue Facility) without resorting to bribery.


That's right. You also get to turn stuff in without much problem and without a bottle of whiskey.

Being able to go to a bar in Korea that doesn’t have 500 other GI’s in it. Making lots of cool Korean friends all over the globe….they’re awesome people


Two of the best benefits.
on Aug 09, 2004
now, all we need is a league of justice, and we can have our own cartoon called semi-super friends...


I can be the teams resident time manipulator... My power will be to start talking and before you know it, you've lost two hours of your life.
on Aug 09, 2004

Would the garlic breath be snail-related?


Yes, it would. 

on Aug 09, 2004
I'll be Authoritative Man, who can answer any question (especially rhetorical ones) with such finality that the answer is assumed to be correct.
on Aug 09, 2004
Great.....you're all in, now all we're short on is villians of mediocrity.....SSG Spadde comes to mind.
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