and I'm on top of the woild, ma!!!
Published on April 3, 2005 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
Over the last year, I have listened to a lot of argument over the war in Iraq, why we're there, who's to blame, if blame is to be assigned, et cetera ad nauseum. I left a reply to one of these arguments in Col Gene's blog today, Link and damn it, I liked it so much, I decided to make it into an article.

As a member of the military, and the intelligence community, I would like to take personal blame for the war in Iraq.

Not only did I personally feed misinformation to the president, Congress, and the U.N. about weapons of mass destruction, I helped form the declaration of war, and fielded our troops. I sent them intentionally in the paths of IEDs. I gave the orders for Abu Grahib.

The vast improvements and personal freedoms achieved in the lives of millions of Iraqis is completely accidental, and is totally against the tyranical American oil oligarchy I was trying to establish. I killed Jimmy Hoffa. I was the third gunman on the grassy knoll.

Even as we speak, I'm entering all of you into my secret database whilst (and at the same time) listening to all of your phones. That's right, all of them. Just me. I clogged the Pope's arteries so that Bush can get our man into the Vatican. I personally stuffed thousands of ballot boxes all over America so that Kerry would lose the election.

I know what the lump under Bush's suit was during the debates. I'm responsible for the freedom of Osama bin Laden. The only thing I didn't do is make Michael Moore look like a big fat idiot. My guess is he was given the Rush Limbaugh/Kim Jong Il virus by spies from communist China.

I did it all. Bad, bad intelligence. Don't I feel just a little bit sheepish? Any more liberal blame to place? Bring it on. I did everything...........

Comments (Page 1)
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on Apr 03, 2005
damn and here I thought I am "spartagus"
on Apr 03, 2005
I KNEW IT!!!!!!

BTW, did you also shoot RFK?
on Apr 03, 2005
I done it! I done it! Bobby Boy shouldn't have got between me and that chef!!!
on Apr 03, 2005
so YOU'RE Nixon's hitman...(one of my favorite conspiracy theories)...
on Apr 03, 2005
I couldn't decide whitch reply I wanted to use, so I used them all!!!




Ah, but you didn't get Gore or Kerry elected, nor did you kill Terri Schiavo, so even with all of the above to be used against you, you still could be worse!! ;~D



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I knew it, NOBODY DID IT!!!! (Probably the same "nobody" who did all those bad things in my neighborhood when I was a kid!!) ;~D



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Colon Jean... Who's that? Sounds like a French proctologist!!

on Apr 03, 2005
so YOU'RE Nixon's hitman


Don't remember killing Nixon.......must've been drunk at the time............

Probably the same "nobody" who did all those bad things in my neighborhood when I was a kid!!


of course........nobody can do everything..............
on Apr 03, 2005
Don't remember killing Nixon.......must've been drunk at the time............


I meant the hitman hired by Nixon, not a hitman who killed him
on Apr 03, 2005
Ermm......I did that too!!!!!
on Apr 03, 2005
This is an opportunity not afforded all soldiers since only top performers make the grade. You are one such individual. You have demonstrated your commitment to the intelligence community through the performance of your daily tasks, and are indeed a professional. You should be very proud of this accomplishment, as it places you well above your peers in professional development. Continue to set the example.

on Apr 04, 2005
When I developed in sprituality all these stories of spies nausiates me otherwise once upon time i you used to regale and wallow in the same.If God open your eyes you'd neveer feel like boasting on it.
on Apr 04, 2005
bad bad intelligence. So after tens and tens and tens of thousands of death, most of them innocent civilians, you make a mockery of the ultimate reasons your country went to illegal war. And you're one of the military men too! That's what mind-boggling. A grown man acting like a silly schoolyard kid, laughing about things that are seen as tragic to most humans. Well laugh on I guess. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article5365.htm
on Apr 04, 2005
When I developed in sprituality all these stories of spies nausiates me otherwise once upon time i you used to regale and wallow in the same.If God open your eyes you'd neveer feel like boasting on it.


Yep, I simply disgust myself, whoops hang on.......there, sorry. Just had to destroy some leftover evidence from Ruby Ridge.

So after tens and tens and tens of thousands of death, most of them innocent civilians, you make a mockery of the ultimate reasons your country went to illegal war.


Yep, definitely self-mocking, not making fun of those who consistently degrade us and accuse us of murder with bullshit accusations on a daily basis. Silly me, you stay so busy, turning a legal war into an illegal invasion, gotta run, I keep trying to stop American soldiers from doing good, but they're so damned persistent. Come on guys, I know you can massacre the civilian population for Uncle Sam! Al Jazeera says so, it must be true.

(Don't even ask me how you obtained it, I don't know and don't really want to, mwuahahahaha.)


Let's see, that was after Kennedy, (the two families are easy to confuse......), but pre-war/wallowing in my unspiritual espionage.

Right, did that too. Definitely.

You would think all this would be impossible for one guy, being responsible for all conspiracy/(extremist only) liberal accusations against the current administration, military, intelligence, etc., or that there might be a wee tiny hint of sarcasm in my article, but as you can see, I have people that take me very seriously..............after all "Nobody" can do everything!

Did I mention that I hid the secret to cold fusion in a mayonnaise jar in my backyard in order to maintain the Saudi family's hold through oil money on Arabia?
on Apr 04, 2005
bad bad intelligence. So after tens and tens and tens of thousands of death, most of them innocent civilians, you make a mockery of the ultimate reasons your country went to illegal war. And you're one of the military men too! That's what mind-boggling. A grown man acting like a silly schoolyard kid, laughing about things that are seen as tragic to most humans. Well laugh on I guess.


Specialist, your actions bring credit upon you, your unit, the United States Army, and The United States of America!

(((I guess I should have started with "Attention to Orders" and "To all who Shall See Tthese Presents, Greetings!" ;~D ))))))
on Apr 04, 2005
Leave it to someone short of smarts to actually try argue the illegal invasion of Iraq was legal under international laws. And you know it too. Or at least you should. International law isn't something you can change to suit yourself more comfortably. When you do that, it's called an illegal action. So delude yourself over what's lawful and what is not all you want. It doesn't change facts at all. Not at all. Sorry, but your having said it's legal doesn't make it legal. You're funny. Go to any government office anywhere in the US, and get the layers of dust swept off the lawbooks. You'll see what's legal and what is not.
on Apr 04, 2005
Thank you Reiki for the ten points so far and continuing to validate my argument. Please, please keep bumping my article into the forums........That's right, it's point whoring. I confess, I did it.

And you're right, sure it's illegal, I did it didn't I?

Here's a hint, his last name begins with a B.


Well yes, and so does my first name, actually. How did you know? But I'm going to continue using my blog name for now. It makes the distribution program for my giant genetically engineered sewer alligators so much easier..........
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