So I'm sitting at home, getting ready for a job interview.........and I get a call.
"Hello, may I speak to Benjamin - -----."
"This is 1st Sergeant Enter Generic Name Here from the 3 Corps reserve unit."
"You do know you're registered with the Individual Ready Reserves, right?"
significant pause
cautious "riiiiiiight."
"Well I'm calling to let you know about reserve units in the Austin, Ft. Hood area and..."
"Excuse me, I'm NOT interested in joining the reserves."
"You'd rather take you're chances with the inactive reserves (not the correct name by the way) then?"
"That's right, thank you"
"Okay then, goodbye."
ARRRRRRGHGHGHGHGHGGHHHH!!!!!!!! What are you trying to do???? Stop my f--king heart??? There was a little more that I don't recall exactly, but the first thirty seconds of phone call made it sound like I was being recalled. Shit. You do NOT mess with a guy that just got out that way. Not cool. No way.
And not only did I turn ya'll down on the reserve stuff twice, but now you're calling me at home? LEAVE ME THE F__K ALONE!!! I've got one year left on IRR, and you call it taking my chances as opposed to signing up for the reserves, knowing damned well I'll be called up and sent somewhere? Jeez.
And if you wanted any chance with me at all, you don't start by asking me questions about my IRR and scaring the shit out of me. I feel like the old man in the Jeffersons when he'd fake a heart attack. GYUHAQ#$T)*(&^!%^^!)*#%^Y*)#TYQ*)#$ ^*)!#^$%*)^!*#$^*)^Y*!)^*#)^%*)%^T*)^@*)%^*^!*)^%*)(!$#ing sons of bitches!!! You're on crack!!! No, that's too insulting to crack whores. You're fricking high on Army!!! Good day, sir! I said good day!!!
End rant here.