Oy. This is what I get for being too happy earlier.
So I go to pick up my tranny jack today. Hmmm. I go to the parts house, whoops missed my turn, u-turn, go back.....shit, the road's blocked off. I do some fancy maneuvering, and..........closed for lunch. Huh? At 2:00 in the afternoon?
No to be deterred, so I hop back into the wife's neon......hmmm I'm hearing grinding when I brake. Not good, I'm gonna have to do the brakes later. Hope she didn't grind the rotor's too bad. I go to cash my paycheck and turn in some library books. "Excuse me, Mr. Nobody Special? You'll have to get your boss to sign these. Sigh......
Off to work, get them signed, back to the bank. Okay, still tracking, got the checks cashed.....across the street to the library. "Did you know these library books are overdue? That'll be nine dollars. Crap. Well, nah. I'm fine, I just cashed my big 18 dollar paycheck, right? I pay and go to walk out the door......BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP EVERYONE LOOK!!!! IT'S A BOOK THIEF!!!!!! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!! Five attempts later, I grab my sci-fi and out the door we go.
Back to the parts house, fancy maneuvers, pick up my transmission jack and go home. Okay. Shit. I'm going to have to clean out the garage before I can do this. No prob. A couple of hours, some Janis Joplin, and a bunch of NPR later, my garage is lookin' spic and span, and all my tools are clean and put up. Now, let's start.
Huh, that's funny, my floor jack isn't working right. I bet it's low on hydraulic oil. Trip to the store later, here we go.......nope. 4 back to back phone calls, none of them relevant to my life. Go away people. Okay, so I pull out the plug for the oil, and.......gush gush gush gush gush.......crap, well, it needs oil now. Fill it with oil (and spill it all over my nice newly cleaned floor.....). Put it back together, huh. Still not working right.
Okay, I'll play with it again. and again. and again. Notting. Merde. At this point my back is screaming at me from this and various and other sundry lifting throughout the day. So I get clever. If I can't do it the easy way, I'll use the spare tire jack. 30 minutes later, everything's on jack stands. Sweet. Oh, wait, crap. It won't fit under there, too low.
About this time, my wife comes home. She decided not to bring home the dinner she was supposed to. She wants to make sandwiches instead. Crap. Now I'm really hungry too. A ha!!!! I figure out how to use what I've got with the hydraulic jack. I put blocks of wood on top, raise it up........still not high enough.
Okay, I know, I've got a neighbor down the street with ramps. I walk down, borrow them, come back. I'll just take the Mustang off the jack stands......HA!!! Now the jack won't work unless you're continually pumping it. Pump Pump Pump Pump....snatch the jack stands out......and now I can't get the jack out. Crap. Pump it back up. Put the jack stands lower, let it down. No go. Repeat. Okay, take out one block of wood, jack it up again. Can't get to where I can get the jackstands and the jack out at the same time. Crap.
Go around to the front of the car and use the jack for the spare to let the front down. Finally, I can get the jack out from the back.
Okay, now I'll use the ramps. Set it up, put the car in gear, and nothing. Crap. It's been leaking tranny fluid like a sieve, part of the reason I'm working on it. So I put more in, try again.......and it pushes the ramps forward. And again. And again. And again with weights in front of them. And again. And again.
I give up, and come in to cool off with a hot bath. That'll fix my back. Nope. Joy's in the tub. "By the way Ben, when are you going to go clean that girl's apartment?" Huh? Oh shit. I forgot about that. There goes working on this tomorrow. Damn.
I come in here to blog and I set down, and get a grass burr in my foot. Ouch. I pull it out, look down, crap. There's a great gaping hole in my favorite boxers. (remember, I'm waiting to take my bath) Gonna have to throw them away.
Oh well, when life kicks me in the balls tomorrow, at least it can see where to aim.