Every once in awhile, whilst delivering pizzas, I get a very special tip. Last year, I got an MGB roadster. No crap, they didn't know how to start it, and were about to take it to the junkyard.
Today? Today I met a very special person.
This guy calls up the store, and wants to know everything on the menu.....in great detail.......twice, because he forgot after the first time. So we make his food and I run his stuff over to him. Heh heh heh...........
This guy......wow, this guy.
First mistake, he's stoned.
Second mistake, he's in his home, having pizza delivered, and he trys to sell me dope.
Bad move. But it gets better.
This guy writes out a check......after telling us over the phone that it would be cash (there's an extra charge for checks, mostly 'cause so many bounce around here.)
He asks me.....not the other way around if I need to see his I.D.
While I'm writing his drivers license on his check, he wants to know if I want to buy some weed, and shows me a baggy.
Best mistake? He tips me like a buck.
Shall we review? This guy is selling dope in his living room, (don't poo where you eat.) He tries to sell in his own nest to a complete stranger, then provides that stranger with his address, phone number, and drivers license, not to mention proof positive that he's a dealer.
I hate drug dealers. Period. However, I'm resigned to the fact that it does go on here. But he broke several of my cardinal rules. One, he's a f---ing idiot. Two, he uses his own stuff. Two point five, where he lives. Three, never. never. never. sell that shit in my neighborhood. Four, after making other blatant mistakes, he didn't tip for crap. Sheesh, if I'd been someone else, at least he might have bribed them to keep their mouth shut.
So, I looked for my tip from another source. Namely, Crimestoppers. I would have NARCed on him anyways just to get his sorry drug dealing ass in jail, but the fact that I'm going to make money from doing it just kinda makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. Not in my neighborhood, mister!
Frickin' punk's just lucky I called the cops............they've got better ways than that to deal with that shit where I'm from. (Well, actually no, they just beat the crap out of them, then turn them over to the cops.)