No!!! For the last time, I didn't go to Iraq!

ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Published on August 5, 2005 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor

Here's one of my favorite parts of being a soldier. You're out somewhere....in a store, at the movie theater, visiting relatives, what have you, when someone finds out you're in the Army, and asks the Question.

"So, like where were you in Iraq?"
"I didn't go to Iraq."
"Oh.......(three seconds of dead silence.....always three.) Afghanistan then?"
"Nope"
"You about to deploy?"
"Nope. Everybody but me in my unit went, and I called in sick and or hid behind a dumpster while everyone else got on the plane, then took potshots at the plane as it went down the runway." (well, usually I only say nope to this part too.)
"Huh........"(three to five seconds of dead air this time........then the Look.)

The Look. Specificaly the look that says, you sorry REMFLink, who the hell did you blow to get out of going over there? Sometimes they even go so far as to say that to your face. Bingo. You're in the army and haven't gone to Iraq? Congratulations, you just went from zero to scumbag in 2.4 seconds.

Then you try to give the lame sounding but true explanation that only about a third of your company went, that people were fighting over who got to go, and that while you would go if sent, you didn't feel like actually arguing for the honor of being shot at for 30 grand a year, when I'm getting out, and if I wanted could go there and get shot at as a civilian for 5 times the money.

It does no good. You could have cured AIDS, cancer, and the common cold, but although half the time they're civilians, and probably didn't go themselves, they know someone who did, and aren't about to give you the time of day after that. They don't usually get rude, just kind of chilly.

Screw it. I can't talk about much of it, but I did my part towards the war, I spent mad hours in a dark, frozen windowless hellhole and I almost died. True, it was pneumonia I caught from the a/c, and not homemade explosives, but death only comes one to a customer and doesn't really care how you got there. Frankly, next time I'd rather get shot, thank you very much.

There. All my angst from being looked at as some kind of scumbag wonderboy by random strangers for not being sent over there down on virtual paper. Not insecurity. nope. none here.

I also understand much better now why my grandaddy never talked about his WWII experiences. He was drafted, and made a tail gunner in a bomber. Good stuff for stories, right? Nope. He was billeted on the seafront hotels of Florida, and they flew around the Keys looking for German subs......which they didn't find. He did shoot at a seagull once.

Sigh........I sure hope I see a seagull in the next couple of weeks.

Yours truly,
NBS

Comments

Zoologist03

on Aug 05, 2005

So......did you go to Iraq?

lol, sorry...I had to. I can imagine how pissed you'd be after being asked a thousand times and then having them think you're somehow a bad person....even though they didn't seem to enlist in the Army.

~Zoo

Texas Wahine

on Aug 05, 2005

So, how do you REALLY feel? Hehe.

Seriously, though, I think this is a kind of natural (if wrong) reaction. The guys who went to Iraq think the guys who went to Afghanistan are pussies. The guys who went to Afghanistan think the guys who stayed in garrison are pussies. The guys who stayed in garrison think the guys that didn't enlist are pussies...and so it goes.

Interesting, though, that you get that same disdain from civilians.

I certainly appreciate the work you've done to keep us and your fellow Soldiers safe, and I do understand that not everyone goes. Someone has to stay behind.

I can't take the high ground, though, because I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder toward wives whose husbands haven't deployed. It's wrong, sure, but it still bugs me that my family had to sacrifice in ways that theirs didn't.

PS - Glad you are better...believe it or not, I nearly died of double pneumonia when I was about 12. I spent a month in a haze of illness and half of that in the hospital. Bad stuff.

Purple_PAN_tree

on Aug 05, 2005

To tell you the truth I'm glad you didn't have to go to Iraq. I don't even know you but I wouldn't send my worst enemy over there. Seriously. I mean I'm all about the support our troops. Two of my Brothers are over there at this moment. I am seriosly waiting on the call, "I'm sorry but there was a mission that went bad..."

I can see where the civilians are coming from, just because I know how it is at home.
But I am also glad you are frimly in the U.S. One less life on the line the better.

kingbee

on Aug 05, 2005

who the hell did you blow to get out of going over there?

altho it's almost too disgusting for me to even suggest--and i know it would be 10x as disgusting to have to verbalize--why not tell em you blew karl rove (or let him blow you)?

on second thought...it's not worth it.

OckhamsRazor

on Aug 06, 2005

When I went into the service it was during Desert Storm.

I had gotten out of boot camp and was on my way to "A" school and I went into 7-11 for a cup of coffee. I was not in uniform. I saw that with the presentation of my military ID card, I got a free coffee. It was so wonderful to me that someone had made the decision to respect the armed forces in this way.

What a shock it was to find that once the conflict was over, we (the military) once again became the dregs of public society. I would go to places IN uniform and get crappy looks. I went in that same 7-11 and got treated like dirt.

Hyperborean Wanderer

on Aug 06, 2005

Don't sweat it, NBS. I know what job you were doing, and anyone who has been in that unit knows the job you were doing. In some ways, you had it worse than being in Iraq; all the disadvantages of being deployed without any of the advantages of being in garrison. Be proud of your service, you've earned it.

zergimmi

on Aug 06, 2005

I thinks anyone who would volunteer to serve and protect their country deserves a medal, knowing that at the drop of a hat you could be in line for a bullet takes balls, big ones, don't sweat mate, you've got more balls than those who judge you.

greywar

on Aug 15, 2005

why not tell em you blew karl rove

KB what the hell does this have to do with anything? Do you think folks who "blow Rove" don't have to go or something? I sure as hell know NBS doesn't. Trolling.

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