I reckon it's about time to end this
So here we are at last, the final showdown. I'm ready, they're ready. It's just me and about 1500-2500(actual population of them in the valley) of the meanest mule deer to ever walk the streets of Copperas Cove, about to go face to face, toe to mmmm....well in a showdown anyways...My flamethrowers loaded, and so am I. I grab my tinfoil beanie and reach for the front door knob, when......OH NO!!!! multiple ending syndrome!!!!
The Appocalypse ending:
I am caught up to heaven with the angels in the rapture, while the moon turns to darkness and the seas turn to blood. The deer are cast into the fiery pit for all eternity. I meet Jesus, who bears an uncanny resemblence to Fred Harteis.
The Scooby Doo ending:
I reach for the antlers of the lead deer, inadvertantly pulling off it's mask. DUM DUM DUM!!!! It's ole man SSG Geezer!!! He was trying to drive us off the land for the oil under the ground! "That's right, and I would have got away with it if it wasn't for you kooky kids!
The Porno ending:
The deer move fast....and hard. The sight of all those sweaty naked beasts does something uncontrollable to me, and next thing you know, we're all just having a good time with crisco oil and a hot tub. I wear nothing but the beanie.
The Sixth Sense ending:
The deer are all actually dead people. The realize this after an insightful comment made by Haley Joel Osmont, whom they help to discover his potential and self worth. The deer say goodbye to their spouses and move on to the afterlife.
The Clue ending:
Colonel Mustard killed the deer, all of them, in the study, with the lead pipe.
The Hamlet ending:
I feign madness because the deer killed my father. When the wind is southerly, I can still tell a hawk from a handsaw. My best friend kills me because I caused the madness and suicide of his sister, my lover, by killing her father. I kill my best friend. The king and queen take poison. The Polish invade, killing everyone.
The Princess Bride ending:
Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya. Deer killed my father. Prepare to die.
The Empire Strikes Back Ending:
The deer are my father.
The Dallas ending:
Wow! It was all just a dream....(Gee, didn't see that one coming)
The Southpark ending:
Oh my God! The deer killed Kenny! You bastards!!!
The Rambo ending:
Use your imagination, I've got a flamethrower for crying outloud...
The Matrix ending:
The deer are imaginary, I am the one.
Night of the Living Dead Ending:
I'm trapped in a house surrounded by zombie deer. They pick us off one at a time. I save the girl, but am bitten in the process, so I'm locked in the basement where I too, become a zombie deer.
The Village ending:
The evil deer hunting us turn out to be the village elders. I am a blind girl who wanders miles through the woods to civilization to find medicine to save my lover. The polish, piano playing village idiot falls in a pit and dies. My movie sucks.
The Highlander Ending:
I am Conner Mcleod of the clan Mcleod and I can never die. There can be only one deer.
The "Real" Ending:
Me and my friends from the league of extraordinarily ordinary not so gentle people wade up to our hips in a sea of deer blood. We rule the hill like death incarnate. Texas Wahine gets a slight scratch on her left arm when she rescues a gecko that wandered onto the battlefield. My flamethrower goes out, so I grab my 240 Bravo. Die Bambi Die!!! Copperas Cove is safe for mortal humans once more......
The end???"