They don't sleep, so I can't either.
Published on August 12, 2004 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
Day 1

Got up about four, tried to leave the house at five for P.T. They were waiting. Almost made it to the car before they struck. The mule deer. They ambushed me, must have been at least seven or eight of them. Lost a little blood, but I'm ok. Plenty of food and water. I can see them from the bedroom window. They're watching......always watching.

Tried to call in deathly sick to work. Platoon sgt. didn't buy it. Send my squad leader to get me, not much left.....just his boots and some gristle. He's on staff duty so he may not be missed for weeks.

Am preparing tinfoil hats as per dharma's instructions to protect from deadly mind beams. Tinfoil and bourbon supplies are dangerously low.

Comments
on Aug 12, 2004
Use your remaining bourbon to bribe the deer into allowing you to get more. No deer can resist the sweet lure of kentucky mash bourbon... mmmmmmmm....... bourbon.... Honey, be a deer and get me some bourbon.... sorry, I got a little lost there....
on Aug 12, 2004
No deer can resist the sweet lure of kentucky mash bourbon


After all, it's just corn in a tastier form....

And they may be vigilant, but they're not very bright. Duct-tape a few good-size sticks onto your tin-foil hat and you should be able to infiltrate them and get wind of their ultimate plan.
on Aug 12, 2004
SPC Nobody Special: This is SO freakin' funny! I saw a photo of a crocodile with a whole deer in his mouth on snopes.com the other day and I thought of you.

Honey, be a deer and get me some bourbon


!!!
on Aug 13, 2004
Here ya go: