Deer and Loathing in....Las Vegas?
Published on August 10, 2004 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
I love deer, really....One of my earliest movie experiences was a showing of Bambi when I was tiny in the 70's. I like deer aesthetically, there graceful...elegant, they go well in chili or on a sandwich. But this time, it's the deer who declared war on me.

Given the fact that Copperas Cove, Tx. is just outside of Ft. Hood, it is still a nice place to live....a bit draconian from ex-military law enforcement and councilmen, but nice. But much like the people of The Village Link

the deer have crossed the line, and it's time for someone to die...

I live on a well populated hill above a formerly rural valley in Cove...Unfortunately, the town is beginning to devop large tracts of land in said valley into housing developments, driving every now homeless Bambi wannabe into the city, and specifically into my neighborhood. It's not safe to drive day or night due to the onslaught of kamikaze deathwish deer, much less that half awake journey at 5:00 in the morning to P.T.

There are at least fifty to sixty deer minimum, living within a half mile radius of my house, this is not exageration, these are eyes-on deer, seen in seperate locations while driving around specifically just to count them. Hitchcock had the wrong idea when he went with The Birds.

Said deer also eat my flowers, shrubs, trees, housecats, whatever. Mule deer must be at least 1/3 goat. They haven't tried cannabilism yet, but I've seen a few giving me funny looks when I run at night.

Nothing can be done. Sniping at night doesn't work. I know someone who tried this with a bow, only to turn around to the arms of the waiting police! Like I said draconian.....but nice.

I've scared up to nine at a time during a run, but it doesn't work anymore....Everywhere I go, they're watching me....with those huge, brown, scary hobbit sized eyes. They know no fear. They can't be stopped. Get out while you can! Run for your lives! Psuedosoldier was right to live on post.
Link Run for the hills! They're coming! They're coming!!!!


Comments
on Aug 10, 2004

Aaah, you're experiencing a taste of what my life has been like for the past nine years.  We have deer too....they wander in off the prairie or out of the woods, find holes in the fences and make their way into base housing.  They eat our garbage and our shrubs, they poo all over the yard and leave nice cloven hoof prints all over the lawn.  They stand in the middle of the road, daring cars to try and pass them.  In rutting season they get very aggressive, and have been known to charge at cars and trucks. 

Mule deer have to be the dumbest creatures around.  They're worse than sheep...they travel in packs, and if one gets spooked, they all get spooked.  That's not a pretty sight ya know...15 to 20 big-ass mule deer and running amok, scared shitless...over nothing.

We can't shoot them either....it's a shame, because they're good eatin'....

on Aug 10, 2004
I had pretty much the same problem with a recent infestation of raccoons.....but they're legal to trap and kill.....I got 18 of them in a 2wk period...I think they're gone now.....but it was a living hell!...I wish you luck in your invasion of these demon deer.

~Zoo
on Aug 10, 2004
And it always gets me when the PETA morons show up at the DNR at the start of hunting season. Do they not realize the slow, agonizing deaths these animals potentially face due to massive overpopulation is FAR more cruel than a well aimed hunter's bullet?
on Aug 10, 2004
I always thought deer seemed a little too smug and innocent. Now we know the truth . . . they're evil! Great post.
on Aug 10, 2004

I always thought deer seemed a little too smug and innocent. Now we know the truth . . . they're evil!


Yes, underneath that humble exterior lies a monster waiting to pounce. 


Sounds like a job for the 'league of extraordinarily ordinary (not so) gentle people' to me......

on Aug 11, 2004
Everywhere I go, they're watching me....with those huge, brown, scary hobbit sized eyes. They know no fear. They can't be stopped.


And Dharma thought I was paranoid.... (I tell you that sparrow had a camera!)

That's not a pretty sight ya know...15 to 20 big-ass mule deer and running amok, scared shitless...over nothing.


I am clearly a mule deer.
on Aug 11, 2004
Psuedosoldier was right to live on post


On post is no safer. When I was at SUSLAK, the CG in charge of the Korean base where we worked had some deer brought in to the base. He thought it'd be nice to have deer on the base. We'd be out running PT and mutually spook each other on our perimeter runs. It's one thing to have one run at your car and veer off, it's another to have it run at you!

We also have a bunch of deer running around on DLI. Had one jump out in front of my car this morning.

On a related note, we have turkeys in our neighborhood on Ord. They disappeared for a while and I figured my neighbor had made good on his claim that he would fill his freezer up in preparation for Thanksgiving. But they are back and now there are babies! It's going to be a good Thanksgiving in my neighborhood! And I'll be glad when they are gone, turkeys are just plain mean!
on Aug 11, 2004
Seen them, used to run in packs of 30 or so, again protected by law....sigh. In fact, they put warnings in the paper not to go outside if you saw them as they would attack. The worst Ft. Ord invasion though was the @$#$%%^@ gophers. But, they were completly safe to kill, and it was great therapy after korean all day.
on Aug 11, 2004

The worst Ft. Ord invasion though was the @$#$%%^@ gophers.


We had a huge prairie dog colony right inside the main gate.  Hundreds of the little buggers lived there.  The powers-that-be gassed them all 2 summers ago....the ones that managed to survive have picked up and moved to an area right smack in the middle of base housing.  People's dogs are jumping fences to chase after them, we're running them over on the road, my cat bought me a dead baby one home....we're not allowed to shoot on base, or else I'd be taking my rifle out there and getting in some target practice!


On a related note, we have turkeys in our neighborhood on Ord.


Got them too. There's a fenced in area just off base that was once base housing before they demolished it all.  There's a pack of turkey's the roam over there...every year they've gotten just a little bigger and there are just a few more.

on Aug 11, 2004
Gassing doesn't get it. You have to kill over 95 percent to stay ahead of reproduction. And if you do somehow kill all of them off, their old tunnels are immediately taken over by more from different gopher runs. Gas doesn't work. Electric harmonics (in ground stakes) doesn't work. Poison doesn't work......but all three, regularly applied.........(contented sigh)