Read too much Shel Silverstein lately? Is that even possible???
O Media, which me protects,
Tell me what to be scared of next.
A dozen people killed by SARS,
West Nile Virus, faulty cars,
with airbag lights that catch on fire,
or ride upon a firestone tire.
Bovine hormones give you breasts, or positives on gaydar tests, and nationwide postal anthrax too,
(how many died, did I? did you?)
O Media, which me protects,
Tell me what to be scared of next.
Make me frightened with filmstock grainy,
E coli lettuce and "richard" cheney,
I heard he causes lead poisoning you know........
And quickly too! with lead, asbestos and surely zinc, bacterial goo in the kitchen sink, smallpoxbuboeschickenpoxcreamofwheatandbagellox orangepeelsandmelonrinddon'tdothatoryou'llgoblind childrenantelopesscaryspidersthatwriggleand wiggleaandgiggleinsideyer.
{huge breath..........}
{and again}
Sugar's bad and what is next?
Worst curse of all, I'm scared of sex,
Odd positions give rectal polyps,
Herpesyphillgonnhelitis from slutty trollops,
Cancers, warts, and avian flu,
You'll catch them if you do that too.
And worst of all of your possible regrets,
A life form, growing inside you yet!
Don't make me fear cho-les-tor-ol,
smoking, car wrecks, alcohol,
These deaths are all too real to me,
Go on, destroy an industry,
I hear five people died last week,
Of something frightening, something unique.
O Media, which me protects,
Tell me what to be scared of next.