Army Proverbs, Chapter 11, verse 69.......
As promised, an Army perspective on some classic proverbs and sayings.
1. A woobie is a man's best friend.
2. A 10 mile ruckmarch is as good as a mile.
3. All men are not cast in the same mold.......except for MPs.
4. Bad news travels fast. Deductions from your paycheck travel even faster.
5. Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. (eliminate all portions in highlight.
6. Boys will be boys. And so will girls. Army of one, hooah.
7. Christmas comes, but once a decade is enough.
8. Close, but no smoking in the motorpool.
9. Shit or get confused and yell a lot.
10. Don't cry over spilt Simple Green. Just hide it from hazmat.
11. Don't cut off your nose to spite your first sergeant.
12. Judge a book by the way it wears it's class A's to the board.
13. Don't put all your eggs in one Milvan. Especially electronic eggs.
14. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water. Baby's are not allowed by the wash racks and must be dumped into the oil/water seperator instead.
15. Easy come, hard to get out.
16. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow is Monday.
17. Even a private knows the difference between being stumbled over and being kicked.
18. Every lieutenant hath his hobby-horse.
19. Feed a cold, starve a fever. Take Motrin and don't ever come back to sick call again.
20. Fish or cut bait. But whatever you do, stay the hell away from the orderly room.
21. Good hand receipts make good neighbors.
22. Here today, still here tonight.
23. If you can't lick 'em, join Op-for.
24. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the battalion area.
25. Ignorance is bliss. Bliss is apparently universal.
26. In God we trust; all others must submit a DA-4987.
27. It takes a thief to catch a thief. But if you don't park your car in front of a F.A. battalion, you won't have as much of a problem with theft to begin with.
28. Make love, not war. But don't do either one in the barracks.
29. Man cannot live by MREs alone. Especially the new ones.
30. Never say die. It's not politically correct.
31. Never swap horses crossing a stream. Wait until one month before deployment instead.
32. Practice what I preach.
33. Practice (training) does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent.
34. Silence is golden, despite the color of the rank, butter-bars aren't.
35. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but IEDs hurt.
36. Talk is cheap but it takes money to buy whiskey. (left intact too)
37. The bad leader (workman) blames his privates (tools).
38. The child is the father of the man. (that she met at the club while he was overseas....)
39. Time heals all wounds. Sick call won't.
40. Two's company, anywhere the first sergeant is, is a crowd.
41. Variety is the spice of life. Get used to bland.
42. Where there's smoke, there's three sergeants taking a break.
43. You can't fit a round peg in a square hole. But do it anyways. Faster, damn it!!!!!!!
44. You made your bed, now bounce a quarter off of it.
45. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So does sick call, office hours, sergeants time training, the sight of blood, and the presence of anyone who is not a doctor but might be able to pretend that they have some medical training (I'm looking at you PAs.)
46. Different strokes for officers.
47. Haste makes waste. But don't worry about it. Watch your lane.
48. There's no place like home. I've been PCSed too much.
49. He who has the gold bars makes the rules.
50. A bird in the hand means this part of post has been declared a protected wildlife habitat and you're in a lot of trouble for touching that bird, mister.
51. or, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A full bird in the field is worth ten in the rear.
52. Kill two birds with one stone. In fact, do the village! do the whole frickin' village man!!!!
53. A penny saved is a penny to buy beer with.
54. If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
55. Every dog has his day, but a pfc is screwed for life.
56. Behind every great man is a specialist doing his powerpoint slides.
57. There's plenty of fish in the sea. So stay away from the juicy-girls dammit!
58. Everyone gets fifteen minutes of fame. Usually right after they screw up.
59. A jack of all trades will be working in the orderly room and restricted to none.
60. One picture is worth a thousand times trying to remember what your family looks like after a year away.
61. A good bitching out in time saves nine.
62. Absence makes the spouses wander.
63. All roads lead to Ft. Hood.
64. All is fair in love and war, but is probably against the Geneva Conventions or the Rules of Engagement.
65. All that glitters must be saluted.
66. A rolling stone gathers no moss. If it doesn't roll, paint it.
67. All work and no play sounds like my weekends.
68. ETS comes to those who wait.
69. Be careful what you wish for, but don't worry, you're not going to get it.
70. Beauty is only skin deep, but officer goes straight to the bone.
71. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. But the best thing is to not carry all that crap and make do with 90 mph tape and 550 cord.
72. Curiosity killed the cat, but opening his mouth is what got him an article-15.
73. Don't eat yellow snow. Just don't, okay?
74. Don't spit into the motorpool.
75. Early to bed and early to rise, probably means you've got P.T. at 0500.
76. Every MOPP suit has a charcoal lining
77. Even a broken/stopped clock is right twice a day.
78. Lieutenants rush in where angels fear to tread.
79. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll still shoot at you when your back is turned.
80. God takes care of drunks. Especially if they go in battle buddy teams.
81. Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned. This is especially true after deployment. Be careful with your powers-of-attorney.
82. He who hesitates is lost.
83. He who lives by the sword shall kill a lot of bad guys with swords. So eat sword, m-----rf------r.
84. He who sleeps forgets his hunger. This is convenient if you don't keep the same hours as the chow hall.
85. History repeats itself. So do first sergeants.
86. Honesty is the best policy. Expect a lot of bad policy decisions.
87. It is better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees. But mostly it's better to make the other guy die first.
88. If the shoe fits, it ain't issue.
89. If you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably in my unit.
90. If you want a thing done right, you're in for a dissapointment.
91. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. This is also called good training.
92. It's cheaper to keep her.
93. In the land of the blind, make sure you've got your eye-pro.
94. It never rains, it's liquid sunshine.
95. It pays to pay attention. Even during FRG meetings.
96. It's better to give than to receive. This goes double at CIF.
97. It's the early bird that gets the worm. Usually in the form of a cheese omelet MRE.
98. Look before you re-up.
and 99. Man wasn't Born to suffer but to carry on
Peace out,
nbs.