Yay funeral.
Published on January 11, 2007 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
As part of the joys of preparing to deploy, we get to fill out these really cool packets that tell where we keep our wills, who our next of kin, all that good stuff. And funeral arrangements. Did you know that Jedi is now considered a legitimate religion by the Army? I'd love to see how far they would actually take some of the requests.

I'm baptist, but I can so imagine a jedi funeral like anakin's in return of the jedi. Burial outfit, my black suit. Or maybe a clown suit. Or nekkid.........now that's definitely a closed casket. I want a civilian outfit, civilian headstone, and if anyone plays ANY bagpipes (or that godawful song, Proud to be an American) for me at ANY time, to include in-country memorial services, I will rise up from the grave and eat their brains. With fava beans. And a nice Chianti.............

You could have some fun with it though. In all seriousness though, I know exactly what I want on my tombstone. Red granite, Full name, birth and death dates, and the inscription, "I knew this would happen." I saw that once and have always thought that it would be perfect.

The best part, is that you also have choice of music. Think of all the horrible songs you could play. I'm trying to think of the worst top ten songs to play at a funeral, ever. Help me out, will ya?

1. Another one bites the dust, by Queen.
2. Highway to Hell, AC/DC.
3. Don't cry for me Argentina, Andrew Lloyd Weber.
4. Anything at all by Brittany Spears. Why not Poison?
5. The End of the World as We Know It, by erm.....damn.
6. Send in the Clowns, ?
7. They're Coming to take me away, haha!!!, Napoleon XVIII
8. Gimme Three Steps, Lynard Skynard.

I don wanna hear Danny Boy, Proud to be an American, or Tears in Heaven. I'd include Stairway in the song list as not apropros, but it's too cool of a song. And maybe Mad World by Tears for Fears. Sweetness. But once I'm dead, I don't really care if they plant me, or throw me on the lawn of my worst enemy with a pink flamingo staking me down and painted with "You're Next, Sucker" and an arrow pointing at their door. But it might be fun to have an Irish wake and a New Orleans funeral.

I had better song ideas for worst funeral ever earlier, but I'm tired and I can't think straight, so what have you got?

Comments
on Jan 11, 2007
well if your name happens to be Earl,,,then the Dixie Chicks "Earl's Gotta Die" would be a lil innapropriate i would think

"Ding Dong The Witch is Dead?" from the Wizard of Oz or "No Rest For The Wicked" from the Broadway Musical "Wicked"?

Ozzy Osbourne's "Suicide Solution" might take some aback...

and I can't help but think that playing Billy Joel's "My Life" might send the wrong message, lol

there's some for ya,,,,

on Jan 11, 2007
Creeping Death by Metallica. (Depending on your tastes, anything by Metallica could be good or bad for a funeral...)

It's The End Of The World As I Know It (And I Feel Fine) is by REM.

What's with your focus on clowns? Were you considering #6 specifically to go with the clown suit? And would you have the full grease paint makeup on? If you did, I'd be sure to accuse "them" of a conspiracy to plant the wrong body.

I can't believe you referred to him as Anakin when referring to RotJ. Heathen.
on Jan 11, 2007
Here's the Guardian's list of most popular funeral songs-- I think most of them can be classified as AWFUL:

1 My Way Frank Sinatra
2 Wind Beneath My Wings Bette Midler
3 Angels Robbie Williams
4 My Heart Will Go On Celine Dion
5 Simply The Best Tina Turner
6 I Will Always Love You Whitney Houston
7 You'll Never Walk Alone Gerry and the Pacemakers
8 Over The Rainbow Eva Cassidy
9 Time To Say Goodbye Sarah Brightman
10 We'll Meet Again Dame Vera Lynn

For your list, you might consider:

Always look on the bright side of life: Monty Python
Killed by Death: Motorhead
This Monkey's Gone to Heaven: The Pixies
I am the Resurrection: Stone Roses
Dirt in the Ground: Tom Waites
You can't always get what you want: Rolling Stones
I can't imagine the world without me: Echobelly
on Jan 13, 2007
I'm putting together a playlist for when I pass. I want people to remember who I was, and so my songs should reflect that:

Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult. If possible, just to keep the mood light, I want video of Will Ferrel pounding on the cowbell for this one.

Ramblin' Boy, by Tom Paxton. A song that inspired a particular part of my persona. I was "rambler" long before I was Gid.

So Long, It's been Good to Know Ya, by Woody Guthrie. It would be wholly improper not to include Woody on the list.

My Way, the Sex Pistols version. 'Nuff said.

All Apologies, by Nirvana. A song with great emotional attachment for me.

September When it Comes, Johnny and Roseanne Cash

Hurt, the Johnny Cash version.

One, by Metallica. It belonged at my younger brother's funeral, but my father (who basically disowned him up until just about the day he died) didn't include it in his memorial service. I'd like to remedy that little error.

and possibly a few selections of my own.
on Jan 14, 2007
Always look on the bright side of life: Monty Python

I love that one...in fact, I just listened to it!

You can't always get what you want: Rolling Stones

Another excellent choice.

How about, Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb? Or Elton John and Bernie Taupin - Funeral For A Friend?


on Jan 14, 2007
Ooh, ooh, and Nazareth - Hair Of The Dog. I can just hear the Angels singing, "now you messin' with a son-of-a-bitch"!!!
on Jan 16, 2007
September When it Comes, Johnny and Roseanne Cash


i love that song,,,i recently saw roseanne cash do it with steve earle and it was great. i think it was one of those "crossroads" shows CMT does. the set was really good, except that roseanne cash always comes off as "snooty" to me when she speaks. and when steve earle would be singing, the look on her face often was that of "waiting for him to finish so i can get back to doing the "good stuff.""

but i love that song.
on Jan 16, 2007
i think at the top of my list would have to be at least 1 greatful dead song...probably "brokedown palace" or "black muddy river" ...but i'm leaning towards brokedown w/ the line "fare thee well, fare thee well, i love you more than words can tell. listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul."