This blog is for you Direct TV. I want to thank you for your rapid installation, friendly service, and low rates. But mostly I want to thank you for bringing me the ability, should I so choose, to watch such quality feature films as:

Brides Get Naked
Bewitched Housewives
Girls Gone Wild/Best of Spring
Dirty Little Secrets 3: Voyeurs Party
The Dirtiest Kind of Fantasy 5

Posh Kitten
Round She Goes
Desperate Black Wives
Barbaric Bangers 2
World Poke Her Tour

Fresh Booty 1
Private Calls
2 Girls and their Guy
Maximum Friction 5
Upper Class Tramps 4

Cheating Housewives 3
Telling Tales
Sex Couch
Nick Grande 4: Girls of the Border
Deep in Malizia (hint, they don't mean Malaysia, the country......)

Dripping Wet 4
Naughty Amateurs Home Videos
My Morning 'Tang 6 (truly the best pun name yet)
Sextet
Naked Happy Girls

Fire on the Hole 7
Lusty Busty Dolls 8
This Butt's 4 U 2 Part 2
Sexcetera (with the loving description - Girls of suicidegirls.com, Swing Stock, 61 year-old porn star. Adult.)

Horny MILFs Needing Love 6
House of Shame
Fly Spice: The Virgin Flight (uninhibited women fly the friendly skies)
Repo Girl
The Dirtiest Kind of Fantasy
Sluts of the Orient

XXX Road Trip 2
Czech Me Out
Slippery Skin 5
White Girls Gott Butt Too 2 (my favorite name......)
Grand Canyons 3
Barely Legal: My First Job
and Monster Jam.....oh, wait. That one's actually sports; a monster truck rally. My mistake.

While I was just flipping through on my way to the XM radio stations to listen to jazz, I want to thank you for this little interlude. It brightened my day, and made me laugh by offering films that used such creative and entertaining naming conventions. It's almost impossible to believe the kind of wit that went into creating those elaborate puns, and parodies of mainstream television shows and commercials.

I do not intend to purchase viewing options at this time, but it is comforting to know that they can be had at any time, and at a surprisingly low cost. Until such time as I develop an overwhelming desire to watch Desperate Black Wives, or Horny Milfs Needing Love 6, here's in no way sarcastically thanking you.

Yours truly,
NBS

Comments
on Jan 06, 2007

Ahhhhh chiuahau!  holy cow!  thanks for the heads up on Direct TV!  If I ever get rich enough to afford it,  maybe I won't want it! 

Here  I thought Direct TV would have good programming...sheesh.

on Jan 06, 2007

First order of business on a new DirecTV system should be engaging the parental locks.  My only real complaint about doing that is that there are many times when a movie will be "unrated" as in never rated at all, not as in started to get a rating of NC-17 or some such.  For those programs/movies you get prompted to over-ride the locks before being able to watch.  It can accidentally happen with news programs, and other stuff that isn't really objectionable (older movies especially).

But, on the plus side, once you engage the locks and block off the channels you'll have no idea they're even there.  The pervs are free to find them all they want, but you don't have to be bothered with seeing them or their content showing up in your online guide.

on Jan 06, 2007

Here I thought Direct TV would have good programming...sheesh.

They offer what people pay for.  Some people want family friendly, some want what others would call exploitation.  To each their own.  For the most part, once you engage the parental locks you'd never even know the other stuff is there.  Much like making use of a v-chip in your TV when you have cable, or even just for over the air.

Considering DirecTV offers approximately 350 channels of programs, having 10 (give or take) that offer up pr0n for those that want it is a relatively small price to pay to keep costs down for those that are paying for the other channels.  The profits on the pr0n content, along with the sports packages, goes a long way to keeping costs for the basic packages down.  That being the case, let the pr0n freaks get what they want while I get to see what I'm after without going broke.

on Jan 06, 2007
Here I thought Direct TV would have good programming...sheesh.


They do. They have EVERYTHING. The good, the bad, and the ugly; literal and Sergio Leone.

Mostly, I just get amused by the names I run into in flipping past the porn stations to the XM radio.