I think it took a wrong turn at Albequerque.....
So where did it all go? I used to be creative, loquacious, eloquent. I used to use words like loquacious, and elegant. Squamous or obsquesious or pedantic also had a possibility of appearing in my lexicon.
Where did it all go, the constant manic energy? The vocabulary? The wonderful poetry I used to write? The romance and the thrill and the passion? How about the excitement I felt every time I went on a stage? I'd love to do that again, but all they have around here is bad community theatre. (think waiting for guffman, in hell.)
I think the vocabulary was done in by environment, compounded with learning Korean. Those short fuzzy syllables pushed everything else right out of my head. That's right, it's the Army's fault!!! ARRRRGGGHHH. I resolve to converse in words so convoluted, no one will understand me, from the bottom of my stratified squamous epithileum!!! (of course that's usually the case, even with words of one syllable.....)
Mostly I wonder if it wasn't sexual frustration. All that bottled up erm, energy had to vent somehow. Of course, now that I'm married and well, can release my stress more often, it doesn't come out in that wild, manic energy that it used to. Or not. Maybe I need more caffeine. I'd love to get it back again. (especially if I can continue to get laid........)
Does anyone else feel like the guy at the beginning of Office Space, or Kevin Spacey at the beginning of American Beauty? I love (or at least identify with) that line he says about losers, "they're right, I have lost something."