and badass titles that don't alliterate properly because they're too long, plus you couldn't think of an appropriate word for this movie starting with b.
Published on November 24, 2007 By Spc Nobody Special In Humor
Clearly I haven't written anything in the last few days, and well, let's face it, nobody ever knows wtf to say about my limerick movie reviews, even on the rare occasion that they aren't complete doggerel. I've been, let's say, down with the sickness (you mothers get up, come on get down with the sickness.....in his best richard cheese inside his head imitation). Diarrhea, fever, we had it all, now available at low low discount prices.

Well as of this morning, I'm alive and well again. So, what might you ask, has been going on in the life of that awe inspiring person that everyone loves, in short, me? (me..........me.........me........yay..........) ((for those of you that don't get it, this is of course self mockery.)) Well as I was stricken, laid to waste, invalid, I started working on my blues guitar. It felt appropriate at the time.

So back in college, I heard a neat trick for making a guitar slide (children, please try this at home, if you love third degree burns and broken glass in your fingers/eyes/spleens). Take a wine bottle, and tie a cord soaked in gasoline around the neck about three inches down or so. Light that bad boy up. Wait 'til it's about to go out, then plunge into cold water. It should tap right off.

And the people's survey says............myth not quite busted. I think it could work, I just didn't do it right. I ended up with a two and a half inch piece of bottle neck with ragged ends and a couple of cracks. First problem, I used literal ice water, maybe too extreme in temperatures. (in a pot in my backyard, frozen over the top the night before.) Also, I used a piece of yarn that was too fat, and let the bottle sit straight up. This allowed the flame to lick up the neck of the bottle, causing it to not break evenly, and to crack further than I wanted it to go. It needs to be sideways while it burns.

Or I could just use a hacksaw, or even do it the safe way {snort, chuckle}, and buy one. Right...........Maybe if I used a Beaujolais, instead of a Pinot.....hmmmmm. Either way, I can still dick around in the meantime with Stevie Ray, or a nifty little version of Love Me Two Times I cooked up. If Joy doesn't kill me for playing frickin' blues music all. the. damned. day. long. (sorry, sheesh. it's the first time I ever played with alternate tuning........)

Oh yeah, and I saw the new Coen Brothers flick. You would think that you would be able to see a well reviewed movie from two directors/writers/producers that made such high grossing blockbusters as Raising Arizona, O Brother Where Art Thou, Fargo, and The Big Lebowski (and incidently haven't yet made a flop) without having to drive 20 miles away in a major metropolitan area. Such was apparently not to be the case. Apparently the local idiocracy that runs our beloved albeit alleged houses of cinema felt that they would be better off to run three screens full of Hitman, and three screens of Enchanted. Woot. Ya flaming douche monkeys. May a wild herd of infernal, syphilitic, Michael Moore loving squirrels consume you from the nards up, stopping three times for naps. May your socks fall down around your ankles, and a bird of paradise fly up your nose. May you be infested with Siamese cats AND boils. May you rot in the belly of a Bantha for a thousand years, and all of your young/nay, grace them not, your foul spawn end up on the Jerry Springer show. (if it's gone off the air, may they ressurect it especially for you)

(okay, I eventually want to see hitman, but come on........a movie made from a video game for chrissakes.) No Country For Old Men was AWESOME. Loved it. Very very dark humor, and lets face it, some of you really won't like this flick (especially if you hated fargo or blood simple) The acting was of course well done, the settings and costume were AMAZING. I was having flashbacks through half the damned movie to growing up in Texas. And for once, thank God, was able to set through a movie set in Texas without flinching every two seconds at the falseness of the accents. They were there, they just happened to be real. Nice lighting, very great attention to detail, including many things around the weapons and shooting that I wouldn't have known to look for without having been around that kind of thing. The ending is going to piss off a lot of people, but frankly, I'm not going to tell, you, I enjoyed it anyways, and anyone who get's pissed off, well the book's been a bestseller for what, a couple of decades now? That's like going to go see Beowolf and being shocked that Grendel dies. (he does die in this one, right? I haven't seen it yet, and even though Neil Gaiman worked on the screenplay, its hard to trust hollywood not to fuck things up.) ((if you're shocked by that spoiler, I'm really not apologetic, it's been out for 1400 years, and been a staple of high school lit for about 60 or so.))

Regardless, Joy is getting annoyed because the twenty minutes I told her I'd be on the computer has now turned into an hour, so.......much as I enjoy a good rant, peace out, as they say in the Fantastic Four (or on Castro Street, I forget which) flame on dudes.........

I'm outta here.
NBS

Comments
on Nov 24, 2007
You are hilarious.  I don't know what else to say and it wasn't a limerick movie review.
on Nov 25, 2007
Ditto on the hilarious part and that's some flaming review!lol!
on Nov 25, 2007
I knew wild herds of infernal, syphilitic, Michael Moore loving squirrels would get a giggle out of someone.